Cryo-Pet™ Ensures Your Animals Won't Mind Extended Travel

November 20 2008 / by John Heylin
Category: Technology   Year: Beyond   Rating: 8 Hot

Worried about how Fluffy will handle being in the cargo hold at 35,000 feet? For just $1,780 you can purchase a Cryo-Pet™ which uses the latest cryonic technology to put your pet into a gentle slumber.

Although the operation of such a device may seem rather daunting, Cryotranz™ hopes that by combining their newest cryo-breakthroughs with eye-appealing design that cryonics will move past the image the industry has of just freezing the heads of the rich and break into the mass consumer world.

How does it work?

On the side of Cryo-Pet™ you’ll find a “Pre-Cryo Preparation Kit” which contains all you need for putting your animal into a suspended state.

First, a breathing nozzle is used to deliver two different chemicals to your animal. One is a drug which will knock your pet out for easy handling, the second is a chemical which enters into the blood stream and begins slowing the metabolism of your animal. The effects only last for about thirty minutes in case you change your mind.

After your animal is asleep, place him or her into the chamber and close the door. A button will light when the door has been locked and his or her metabolism and breathing has stopped. Cryo-Pet™ is then ready to begin the freezing process.

What happens during the freezing process?

Pressing the button will activate various machines inside of the chamber, the first of which sucks all of the corrosive oxygen from Cryo-Pet™, leaving a vacuum. Don’t worry, your pet doesn’t need oxygen at this point of the operation. A patented chemical made by us is then introduced which permeates the body of your pet and stops any potential damage of cell tissue in the animal.

When the green light goes on, you’re all set to transport your pet wherever you need. The whole process of putting your pet into suspended animation takes about 20 minutes (this time can be shorter or longer depending on animal and chamber size).

How does my pet get out of this?

After reaching your destination, simply unlock the device (the lock is there to prevent any errant button-pressing during travel), press the button marked “Press here to begin un-freezing process” and leave it on the floor somewhere. Cryo-Pet™ will begin introducing oxygen to the chamber as well as an awakening agent which re-starts the metabolism of your pet. It is vitally important you do not interrupt this process.

When your pet is beginning to waken, the door of Cryo-Pet™ opens to allow the animal out. Although groggy at first (due to the slowed metabolism), your pet will see the effects wear off in a few hours.

The only question now is, when will you get one?

this product is fictional

Comment Thread (4 Responses)

  1. As such containers grow in size, I expect that we’ll see more traveling zoos and circuses. lol…

    Posted by: Alvis Brigis   November 20, 2008
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  2. This is just demented. I bet some kids will try to use it on their little brother.

    Posted by: martymcfly   November 20, 2008
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  3. WTF. Could be an alternative to taxidermy eventually too.

    Posted by: cjb83   November 20, 2008
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  4. Sounds interesting. Creating a vacuum would be a bad idea though. You wouldn’t want the pet’s blood to boil and it’s body to explode. Maybe filling the chamber with inert gas would be a better idea?

    Posted by: Dewatto   November 21, 2008
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